Wednesday, August 31, 2011


These past few days, my head has been filled with lies. Lies that I'm not good enough, desired enough, capable enough.

Then David talked about Samson & how he had the spirit of strength in him that he was strong enough to rip a lion's jaw in half. Like ripping a sheet of paper. Imagine what you can do by having the power of the Holy Spirit on you. And we need the Holy Spirit because Satan is roaming the earth like a lion, seeking people to devour and destroy.

One of those people was me. But Holy Spirit, I pray that you would anoint me with wisdom to discern those lies, rip them up, and hear truth.

I really do make you happy, God.


On another Fusion note, worship also spoke out so loudly today.

Many of my friends are getting engaged & planning their weddings already. That's bizzare to think about, but I guess it's been making me think about romantic relationships a lot lately. Like, a LOT. And I've been trying to think of what kind of guy would be good for me - but whatever I come up with, I can never find in real life among the guys in my life. Nobody can meet my expectations.

Then worship came on:
He is faithful to the end
He is faithful to my heart
He is faithful to the end
He will come and marry me
(Jesus is Faithful to the End - Cory Asbury)

I can't find what I'm looking for because only Jesus can be that person for me. Not that he will literally come and marry me, but the idea that Jesus has bound himself in a covenant relationship with me (like marriage) & that He will always be faithful. And that our hearts can resonate with each other and seek God and his Kingdom. That there's no way He can't not meet my expectations. So reassuring & satisfying.

I realized that my ridiculous expectations weren't meant for humans, they were meant for God. Time to be more realistic with my expectations from people & myself.


  1. while it's great that you acknowledge that God the only one who can ultimately satisfy you, i wonder if you have rather high, perhaps unrealistic, expectations of what your boyfried/future husband should be like

  2. truth! thanks for pointing that out. I meant to write about that, but got too excited and forgot to.

  3. I disagree with the first comment.

    I don't believe that a woman's expectations can be too high. Let me re-phrase that. A woman's expectations can be foolish (high expectations about temporal or insignificant things i.e. shallow things).. but if the woman's expectations are "high" about things that matter, that isn't "unrealistic" expectation, it's the only expectation to have. Having met someone who has EXCEEDED my high expectations, I encourage you not to settle for anyone less than the person you have in mind -- who I know isn't Ken in a convertible but someone who fears God, loves him passionately, and loves his people passionately.

    Btw. You really do make him happy :) You make ME happy. I can't imagine how happy you make your CREATOR and Father and Groom!

    ps. I read this post while I was at work and just could NOT wait to come home and comment on it! Haha. Everything inside of me was screaming, "No, Joy, you ARE worth a man who meets "unrealistic" high standards!

  4. i really like what you wrote last, how your "ridiculous expectations weren't meant for people, but for God"

    i've been finding that this holds very true for me as well, also in all types of relationships -- takes extra humility to remember that i am not God and neither is the other person